Day 6 - Long update

Selfie in Chennai

First Family Photo

Playing in the hotel

Waiting to meet Anandhi

October 8, 2022

I finally have a little time to sit down and write… because it’s 2:00 AM and I can’t sleep. Don’t feel too bad for me I feel asleep a bit after 7, so I still managed to get the longest stretch of uninterrupted sleep I’ve had since we started the trip. I don’t remember the jet lag being as bad last time around, but it probably was. A time change of 10:30 hours is just something it takes your body a week or more to adjust to. I think Ravi is actually handling it better than Leah or me, but I have to remind myself every once in a while, that he really has no idea what we put his body through. Fortunately, Anandhi has been a good sleeper, so that has helped us avoid the added difficulty of waking up to care for an infant.

This might be a bit longer post to catch back up on everything since so much happened in the first three or four days. Also, my editor (Leah) is trying to sleep so there may be some run-on sentences, confusing comma placement, or sentences or thoughts that abruptly end.

After arriving in Tiruvannamalai midday Tuesday and getting some quick rest in our hotel we traveled to the orphanage. It was a small “complex” of several one-story buildings and a large open space. We didn’t get much of a tour, just the small office in the “baby house” where six of us crammed in. As I previously mentioned, we met Anandhi and visited for only maybe 20 or 30 minutes and they told us we could take her with us back to the hotel. We hadn’t expected to get custody until Thursday or maybe Friday, so we were surprised and a bit unprepared. She was easygoing though and at the first day or two too fussy; even though she did have a bit of a cold and slight fever too. I can only imagine what is going through her mind as her entire world is turned upside down and she is handed over to unfamiliar people and taken away from her home.

Wednesday, we stayed around the hotel resting and made a trip to the pool. The hotel was a mixed bag as far as amenities go, so we had some difficulty getting too comfortable. It was kind of like a motel with all the rooms surrounding a small open-air courtyard. The place had lots of ornate decorations on the railings, doors, and floors; but the building and rooms also showed a lot of wear and tear from age and the tropical climate. The combination shower/toilet room with minimal hot water made it a bit difficult to feel too refreshed after our long journey. Breakfast was included, but it was all traditional Indian food, so it was difficult to find much Ravi liked, we’ve spoiled him with our American ways of fatty and sugary food for breakfast. We made the most of our stay though and spent a while at the pool and walking around the grounds. Unfortunately, we were right off a highway so there wasn’t much we could walk to.

A quick side note, on the food. Anu said getting South Indiain food in places like New Delhi is kind of a treat. However, it’s so spicy she said she can’t even eat much of it. She was very concerned we would starve. I thought she was being over dramatic, but I think she was serious. Overall, I think we were more tired than hungry, but it was great to have someone looking out for us. She was very helpful in finding some things we enjoyed, and she helped to get some different types of flatbreads that Ravi would eat.

On Wednesday afternoon we discussed plans with Anu to push things along with Anandhi’s passport. She told us we’d need to go back to Chennai to the regional passport office to “plead our case”. We started packing up all our stuff less than 36 hours after arriving having expected to be there for up to a week. Anu thought we would be more comfortable in Chennai, which is a much bigger city, for the rest of our wait for the passport. We hit the road a little after 7 AM on Thursday with the four of us, Anu, and the orphanage director, Mr. Murgan. We arrived at the office at about 12:30 after just one quick breakfast and bathroom stop.

The wait at the passport office brought back many flashbacks of the wait for Ravi’s passport. We sat in a government office building with very little A/C and just a few ceiling fans pushing the air around. It was a lot like waiting at the DMV with various counters, a PA system calling out numbers, and uncomfortable rows of chairs that were too close together. Also, it was like 100 degrees. Ravi passed the time on his tablet watching Wild Krats on PBS kids, the same episode around 6 or 8 times in a row, and he loved every second of it. We hated to give him so much screen time, but it saved us from a much harder wait. We ended up waiting about 5+ hours without much understanding of what was happening. We spent a lot of time with Anandhi just rocking her and standing in front of one of the fans. She slept for a lot of the wait, I’m sure she was even more miserable than us. Occasionally, Anu and Mr. Murgan would go up to the counter and have discussions with one of the agents. Unfortunately, about halfway through our wait, Anu had to leave to catch her flight back to Delhi.

Eventually, we were called into one of the air-conditioned offices (Thank God). Mr. Murgan argued our case as best he could, but I couldn’t help but wish Anu was there. She just gets shit done and was a fierce advocate for us any time she could be. We finally learned that there were a few clerical issues that had delayed our application and the police verification. It like would still take several days to get all the paperwork in order, which included mailing the request from the passport office to the police station in Tiruvannamalai, then the verification would need to be mailed back to the passport office, everything reviewed, and finally, the passport could be mailed back to the orphanage. We pressed hard knowing that all of that would take a long time. They were able to work out a deal where they could issue the passport sooner and collect the police paperwork later. As of now, we’re really hoping the passport is mailed on Monday and we will have it by next Tuesday or Wednesday. Unfortunately, they will not hand it to us directly, they will only mail it. We’ll have to pay a driver to bring it back to us in Chennai, where we’re staying now.

With all that stress we elected to find a comfortable place to stay and recharge. The four of us have settled in over the last 36 hours. We are staying at a nice hotel in Chennai, called the Leela Palace. Nice is not actually a sufficient way to describe this place. It’s super fancy, chandeliers, “artifacts” in the hallways, mosaic tile pool nice. Not our natural environment, of course, I’m cringing at Ravi “galloping” down the hallways and around the pool, but the staff just waves and him and he wins them over. We’ll be here for hopefully, just three more days waiting for the passport. We all feel quite a bit better, though there are always new surprises and physical ailments to deal with. Leah’s back is killing her from holding a small child for so many hours (Anandhi is a bit clingy with Mom and has been a bit slower to warm to me. But she did not have any male caregivers to this point in her life, so it will take some time). We’re all still dealing with jet lag (both Leah and I were up for a few hours just now in the middle of the night). I ran a slight fever yesterday and might have had a bit of a bug, and had to skip dinner, but as of now I am feeling pretty good.

Even though it has been hard, it is very rewarding too. As Anandhi adjusts, she is starting to smile more and be more playful. She has just the two front teeth on top and it’s so cute when she smiles and laughs. Ravi is doing a great job helping bring diapers and find her toys. He’s also working hard to be independent since Mom and Dad’s attention is elsewhere. Not too much sibling rivalry yet, but occasionally she goes for one of Ravi’s favorite trucks. Overall, we’re still hanging in there pretty well. It helps a little to have been through something like this before. We have our moments where we get cranky with each other, probably me more than anyone else, but I think so far our emotional state is better than where we were with Ravi’s process to this point. Maybe I’m just speaking for myself.

I better try and get back to sleep for a couple hours before morning. We’ll try and keep everyone back home updated as we wait.