Matching Our Child

Originally Posted March 10, 2018

The adoption process really seems to be defined by periods of anxiously waiting for some news in between brief flurries of activities. We'll wait for a few weeks to hear back on an approval without much word from our case manager, and then there will be emails and phone calls and us making hard decisions. It's been emotional, but actually enjoyable too. With each little milestone, there's something to celebrate. I'll admit Leah gets more enjoyment out of them than I do; I tend to keep my emotions a little closer to center, but the excitement is building. I have a hard time not letting my mind drift to what challenges are ahead, but I'm glad I have Leah to remind me how much we've invested so far and how far it's gotten us. With that little prologue over, we do have some big updates since it's been a few weeks since the last post.

On March 1st, we received approval from USCIS (US Citizen and Immigration Services) to adopt! This means we had everything finally in place to start receiving referrals from WACAP. Calling them referrals seems a little odd, but it's basically a bit of an impersonal way of saying that WACAP is sending us files with children's descriptions, medical files, and photos. This is definitely a surreal feeling.

We'll work with WACAP to find the child that is the best fit for our family. There is a database maintained by CARA (India's central adoption agency) that gets updated daily. There is not a great deal of information available; generally just age, location, and any medical diagnoses. WACAP monitors that list and sends us information on children we may be interested in based on the paperwork we've completed, the specifics of what we're approved for, and conversations we've had with our case working. If we want, we can "match" with that child, which puts a hold on that child and gives us 30 days to review their file, request additional information, and make a final decision. Theoretically, we could visit the child within that period, but I don't expect us to be making any short-notice trips to India.

We are trying our best to get informed as we're working toward our decision. We're keeping the information a little tight right now because it's such an emotional process. It feels like the biggest decision we could make in our life, and we're doing it with very little information about a child halfway around the world. We did meet with a pediatrician a few weeks ago who has a great deal of experience with international adoption. We both felt like we learned a lot from her and she will help us review medical files as we get referrals. The kids get reasonable medical care in most orphanages, but it's hard for us to decipher what things we need to watch out for or what exactly some test results indicate. It's been very reassuring to have a professional opinion.

Things have been going more smoothly and more quickly than either of us initially anticipated. Both Leah and I have had a bit of a difficult time keeping focused at work. It's still a long road ahead, and once we accept a match the waiting will definitely be harder. We will keep doing our best to keep everyone updated as we hit major milestones and ride this emotional roller coaster.

Photos of the pets for good measure (Jack, Chester, and Sven)